50 things only remote workers understand

4 min read
Kristin Hillery,
Shakti Sotomayor
  •  Jan 26, 2017
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We all do certain things when we’re at home in our comfort zone, but can you imagine having the whole workday to let all your weird hang out? Being an entirely remote company, we at InVision have a blast sharing the funny, frustrating, and often bizarre things that we do and encounter as remote workers.

So we asked the entire InVision team to contribute to a list of things only remote workers can truly understandTwitter Logo. We won’t name names (for reasons that will become obvious), but we promise—it’s a weird, beautiful life.

It’s called working. Look it up.

1. Taking your first 2 calls of the day wearing a robe

2. Making coffee in the middle of meetings while on mute

3. Taking The Lunchtime Shower because you started the day working from your bed

4. Envying all your office worker friends for being around people all day

5. Realizing the only friends you see regularly are Ross, Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel

“Having to convince everybody that you do, in fact, have a real job.”

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6. Doing your laundry (in the middle of the workday, of course) and realizing how infrequently you change your clothes—and that most of your laundry consists of pajamas

7. Having your kids type your Slack responses while you shuttle them between activities

Related: Remote workers share how they manage their work-life balance

Oh, no. Not again!

8. Going clothes shopping, then exclusively buying pajama sets

9. Announcing to your coworkers that you put on real pants today

10. Making friends with the Amazon Prime and Instacart delivery people. Every delivery person, really

11. Rushing to put on a shirt when you realize everyone else is on video during a call. Pants, of course, are optional. Business on top, party on the bottom!

12. Being asked to do stuff for friends and neighbors in the middle of the day, because working from home to them means not having a “real” job

13. Having to convince everybody that you do, in fact, have a real job

14. Realizing you’ve never actually met most of the people you work with in real life

15. Using your lunch break to do chores around the house

16. Realizing that your workday at home was far more productive than any you’ve had in an office

17. Seeing the look on people’s faces when you tell them you can work from anywhere you want

18. Initially thinking you’ll work from all kinds of fun and exotic places, but the farthest you ever travel to work is your dining room table

This is actually a photo of a dream. A dream that will never come true.

19. Setting your open laptop on the kitchen counter while you prepare a meal

20. Getting excited at the culinary possibilities with all-day access to a kitchen, only to end up eating cereal for every meal

21. Telling your team that you’re going to lunch, but you never actually walk away from your computer

22. Sitting up while working was your greatest non-work accomplishment today

23. Getting exasperated responses from friends when you say you’re exhausted— “…But you work from home.”

24. Feeling horrified by how quickly you can house a case of LaCroix

25. Talking to your pets more than you talk to people. And bouncing ideas off of your pets

Related: Meet the pets of InVision

26. Putting on The Price is Right just to be able to say you had some human interaction today

27. Noticing your roommate stopped doing the dishes because you’ve got “all day” to do them while they’re at work

28. Constantly having to apologize for your cat meowing in the background during meetings

Not now, Chairman Meow.

29. Being able to fart as much and as loud as you want

30. Laughing at the computer screen when people say funny things in Slack

31. Realizing at 10pm that you never went outside today

32. Feeling really proud of how much your skin has improved now that you don’t wear makeup everyday

33. Walking to the mailbox a second time when you have a great hair day

34. Assuming your coworkers are actually much shorter than they are

35. Having a difficult time speaking to people in real life without the ability to respond with emojis and GIFs

8:55am already? Time to get up, I guess.

36. Feeling the dread and shame during a video call because no one cared about your idea, and then realizing you were muted the whole time

37. Being unbelievably nervous when you meet coworkers in person for the first time. It feels like a blind date!

38. Taking a lunch break longer than 15 minutes, then feeling guilty because you’re not at your desk

“Walking to the mailbox a second time when you have a great hair day.”

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39. Working somewhere else just so that you can feel like you’re coming home at the end of the workday

40. Feeling like you could never have a job in an office ever again

41. Joking about your “long commute down the hall” while your friends complain about their actual long commute ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

42. Checking yourself out in the Google Hangouts preview screen before joining a call—then realizing you should probably comb your hair

43. Noticing that car-related errands have become especially annoying because you never drive. Are you sure you even know how to drive anymore?

Related: How InVision uses Slack to power culture and communication

44. Forgetting on a daily basis that sustaining life requires breaking for food and then being annoyed on a daily basis that sustaining life requires breaking for food

45. Finding it’s a constant battle to actually stop working, both before and after the “workday” is done

46. Speaking fluent emoji

47. Telling your work friends how excited you are to be eating lunch with “human friends in real life” today

48. Realizing all the time you spent in chat rooms in the 90s actually paid off

49. Knowing you’ve totally found your people—and loving being an introvert among introverts

50. Having closer friendships with your remote team than you’ve ever had at an office before

Many thanks to the InVision team for collaborating on this list! Oh, and hey—if you’d like to work remotely with us, we’re hiring.

Do you work remotely?

Tell us your own remote worker truths on Twitter: @InVisionApp.

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